I know there are some folks who have a hard time wanting to honor their mothers.  They face discouragement in the midst of strained relationships, poor communication, and frequent frustrations.  Our relationships to our mothers are not always easy.  For others the thought of their Mom brings about the pain of loss.  This morning I miss my grandmother.  She was a spiritual beacon in my life, a prayer warrior always alert and ever watchful.  She spent many sleepless nights begging the Lord to be merciful to me and to my family.  She had a wonderful laugh, gave incredibly special backrubs, made perfect biscuits, and sang praise songs to God throughout the busyness of her day. 

I am thankful this morning for my Mom and we look forward to honoring her today when she and my Dad come through town on the way back from vacation.  I’ve always described my Mom as one of my best friends.  It is not hard for me to want to honor her.  I do wonder how to honor in the best way.  I think at this time in our relationship and this time in our lives that I need to simply listen more.  She is a reflective person full of prayers and petitions for the Lord.  She is attentive to needs in our family, in her community, in her church, and neighborhood.  Perhaps the best way I can honor my mother is to hear her out and to pray more seriously for those that she is in the midst of loving.

We did our best this morning to bless and honor Alyssa.  She is a superb Mom to our three boys.  She is the Mommy at our house and we tried to let her sleep a little later.  The coffee was ready when she came to the kitchen.  Pancakes, bacon, and eggs were on the table and we sang “Happy Mother’s Day to You”.  The boys did a great job of decorating the table with cards and pictures.  It is good to honor her – not only because of the great love and care that she shows us but because of the calling that she has from God.  She is the Mommy of this house with a high commission and a great call to ministry.  She deserves our gratitude and our respect every day.

I was reminded this morning that there are three other women that we need to be praying for this morning.  We think of the women that our boys will grow up to love, adore, and marry.  We hope that there are three future mothers out there somewhere.  May God grow them in righteousness, protect and preserve them, preparing them for the great call that may one day be theirs. 

Blessings to you on this Mother’s Day ~ Steadman

For several weeks my son has been asking for a “computer”.  He carried the Dell advertisements around for a week pointing to the computer that he wanted and said he was saving all his money to pay for the $299 Dell Axim handheld PC.  It is important to note that my son is 5 years old.  After hearing that he was persistent in his desires, I finally offered him my old HP Jornada – a handheld PC very similar to the one that he wanted.  To say the least, he was thrilled.  I was really amazed how quickly he figured out how to get to the Solitaire game and he came home from pre-school showing me the Windows Media Player and asking me if I would load some songs for him???  I spent some time with him showing him the other functions he might be interested in using – the digital voice recorder was one that really caught his attention.  I recorded my voice saying, “Hello son, this is your Papa.  I hope you are having a good day.  Remember to share with your friends and obey your teachers.  I love you.”  I was surprised to hear him playing this recording over and over during the days ahead.  He really seemed to like the simple message and the reminders that were recorded on the machine.  He wanted to hear the voice of his father.

There is a nice biblical parallel to the story of my son and his recording of his father’s voice.  God loved us so much that He gave us His Word.  Every day we have the opportunity to hear His voice telling us that He is our Father.  He reminds us of His commandments and what it takes to be a member of His Kingdom.  Most importantly He shares with us over and over in His Word that He loves us.  May we desire to hear His voice so much that we will read it over and over until we have it memorized, imprinted on our hearts.

Blessings to you ~ Steadman

In preparation for a recent funeral I did a quick online search for suggested funeral services, order of worship for funerals, order for grave-side services, and funeral readings.  There were very few Christian funeral service helps and aides online.  I’d like to provide at least one option based on what we did this past weekend for one of our family members.  Please feel free to pass this along to anyone looking for arrangement options.

SUGGESTED ORDER OF WORSHIP

Prelude (Pallbearers seated, Pastor and Participants enter)

Invocation Prayer
Our Loving Eternal Heavenly Father, as we meet this morning to remember our dear friend and loved one, (name), we ask you to be to us the God of all comfort, and the God of all grace. Give us hope as we face the reality of death; help us to understand You and your purposes at this time. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.

Welcome
I know some of our family members and friends have traveled a distance to be with us and we thank you.  We are gathered here to give thanks – thanks for life and love of (name) and thanks to God for His blessings and His comfort in the midst of our grief.  We are here to encourage one another – to be instruments of God’s comfort one to another.  We are each called to pray for those who are in need, to love our brother and our sister, our neighbor – and at times like this we have a special calling to minister to our family members who are suffering a great loss.  The Bible says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.”  My hope for this service today is that as we remember (name) we will encourage one another and give glory to God, our Abba Father, who is our source of all life, joy, and comfort.

Prayer of Thanksgiving

Reading 1
Psalm 23:1-6 (ESV) 
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Special Music or Hymn

Reading 2 
Psalm 42:1-6 (ESV) 
As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me continually, "Where is your God?" These things I remember, as I pour out my soul; how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

Eulogy / Community Remembrance (family and friends that choose to speak)

Homily or Brief Message (A friend encouraged me to do three things with the message:  Talk about death.  Talk about Jesus.  Talk about 12 minutes.)

Special Music or Hymn

Prayers of Intercession

Commendation
Our Father in Heaven, in as much as you, in your sovereign love, have called the soul of our loved one and friend, (name), to be with you, we express our thanks, for the privilege of knowing him. We thank you for the way he impacted our lives, and for your grace through difficult times. We are grateful for your love; You, the Great Shepherd of the Sheep. You who have prepared a place for all who trust you, and who alone are worthy of our faith, to you we turn for continued strength, continued comfort, continued perspective, continued purpose.

Benediction & Announcement of Committal Service
Psalm 67:1-2 (ESV) 
May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us, that His way may be known on earth, His saving power among all nations.

Postlude

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The Committal Service (Grave-side Service)

Procession to the grave, Seating of the family, Placement of casket-bearers

Scripture Reading
Rev. 21:1-4 (ESV) 
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.  And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Prayer
Our Father in Heaven, we know that this is a fallen world, we pray for your Kingdom to come, for Jesus to return and set things right.  We look forward to that great day when there will be no more tears, when death will be no more.  Until that day comes, Lord give us the strength to run the race that is set before us, comfort us this day, and show us your love and your mercy.  All these things I pray in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Special Music (if desired by family)

Commendation
We have entrusted our brother/sister, (name), to God's mercy,
and we now commit his/her body to the ground:
earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust:
in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life
through our Lord Jesus Christ,
who will transform our frail bodies
that they may be conformed to his glorious body,
who died, was buried, and rose again for us.
To him be the glory forever and ever, AMEN.

Benediction
Psalm 121:1-8 (ESV) 
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life
from this time forth and forevermore. AMEN

Veterans’ Flag Presentation / Taps (If this is a military service include this here)

Dismissal (Procession of Pallbearers and Pastor, Placement of Flowers on Casket)

Blessings to you ~ Steadman

This morning we got up early and traveled from Durham to Greensboro in order to be back in time to worship with our local church family at Covenant Fellowship.  It was a wonderful weekend in Durham.  We visited with some very close friends soon to be married at Duke Chapel in June.  On Friday evening we went contra dancing in Carrboro with a group of about a dozen folks.  Contra dancing is a lot like square dancing and thankfully there was someone calling the dances and a lot of kind, experienced dancers to show those of us who were new to this genre of dance exactly what we needed to do.  Swing your partner.  Form a line.  Now circle left.  Star to the right.  These were just a few of the calls that we heard and to which we learned to rapidly respond.  On Saturday my son was fitted for a tuxedo – he will be the ring bearer in the upcoming wedding.  Later that morning we took our boys to Durham’s NC Museum of Life and Science off Murray Avenue.  We had a blast riding the train, seeing the Magic Wings Butterfly House, and touring the museum.  Saturday evening we ate at a 25 year-old restaurant called Another Thyme.  The food was fantastic and we really enjoyed our company as we celebrated my friend’s 30th birthday. 

The weekend was like a vacation for us.  It was hard coming home and especially hard knowing that we were going to be saying farewell to a couple in our church who will be relocating next weekend back to Arkansas to be near their family.  Each Sunday we have an Open Time as part of our church service where we share testimonies, prayer requests, encouragements, praises, and talk about upcoming events.  I was the elder responsible for leading our Open Time this morning and I began by reflecting on how God had answered our prayers by bringing our friends, Sam and Kathy, to Greensboro.  When Alyssa and I made the decision to stay in Greensboro 10 years ago, we began looking for a church and praying that the Lord would bring Christian couples into our lives that would be role models and examples of how Christian parents, Christian couples, and Christian neighbors should live.  The Lord has answered those prayers through many lives but He has certainly used this couple as an answer to those prayers.  We will miss them greatly. 

I truly thank the Lord for our family in Christ.  I’ve struggled over the years with the way that we must anticipate and even embrace relocating within the family of Christ.  Why is it that we continue to have so many dear friends move as far away as Alaska and Singapore?  I am convinced that the Lord has called these family members on to other important ministries within the Body of Christ and I am convinced that the Lord will continue to answer our prayers by bringing other Godly Christians into our midst.  As I prayed this morning, “May the Lord be gracious to you and bless you and make His face to shine upon you, that through you the Lord’s ways may be known upon the earth,  His saving power among the nations”  Psalm 67:1-2

Blessings to you ~ Steadman

My oldest son has only recently turned 5.  He asked me about revenge the other day – a word that he heard in a movie he was watching.  I explained that revenge was when a person tried to pay someone back for the bad things that that they had done.  People often try to seek their own justice rather than waiting on God to be the judge and the one who brings about justice.  I reminded him that the Bible teaches us, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)  His next question was, “If God doesn’t want us to take revenge, why is it that people go to war in the first place?”  Yikes!  I began to think that my answers to these sorts of questions are going to take more and more thought, preparation, and prayer.  That same night he asked me why it was that his friend's Mom and Dad lived in different houses - “How come they don’t live together?  Why don’t I ever see his Mommy when I go over to his Dad’s house?”  These sorts of questions require time and a commitment to sharing the truth in love.  I have been seeking Godly counsel on how to answer such questions and I realize that I am looking at another couple of decades of providing good answers to hard questions like these for my boys.

These first few tough questions have started me thinking about our generation and the way in which my peers will deal with the same sort of questions in their homes.  How it is that children navigate the complex waters of the modern world without fathers and grandfathers, mothers and grandmothers spending hours of time praying, preparing, and delivering such lessons?  I know that many parents simply do not take the time to listen to these questions and often their answers barely scratch the surface and in some cases completely dismiss their children’s need for an answer to a difficult question.  It is a scary thing to think of what many kids are missing out on these days.  No wonder we have so few men and women of character, so few sources of wisdom, so few virtuous leaders.  As a society we are failing to build a succession plan.   Where will we find the bench strength that will see us through the generations ahead?  God needs young men and women who are willing to stand in the gap, willing to stand up and say 'here am I - send me'... where are our young Samuels and our young Davids going to come from?  My challenge as a parent is to take these questions seriously; to turn to the Scriptures for Godly answers; to seek Godly counsel as I move into the years ahead as a father.  My prayer is that there will be many parents in the church today willing to come along side, support us, pray for us, and take these questions seriously as well.

Blessings to you ~ Steadman

You can learn a lot from a child.  Our oldest son asked my wife a simple question one night as he sat listening to the story of Jesus’ death on the cross retold in paraphrase from a children’s Bible.  “Why do I cry, Momma?”  His eyes were wet with tears and it was perhaps the first time that he recognized this particular feeling.  What was this feeling?  Something about it was different than the tears of temper, tears of pain, tears of fear he had experienced before. 

I recall my own tears in the dark of the theater in Durham, North Carolina as I watched Jim Caviezal deliver a line translated, “I make all things new”.  Mel Gibson’s film, The Passion of the Christ, gave us a picture of Jesus dragging his cross toward Golgotha.  Jesus’ body had been ripped by the Roman scourging, his head torn by the crown of thorns.  He was a mangled mess, a man certain to die of the wounds that had already been inflicted.  The movie presents us with the picture of Mary, the mother of Jesus, making her way through the crowd, breaking through to see her son face to face for the last time before his crucifixion.  She weeps when she sees the seemingly irreversible destruction of the once beautiful child she had born into this world and loved for more than thirty years.  The actor and actress connect on screen and the character of Jesus recognizes in the tears of Mary the regret, worry, compassion, and deep sorrow.  When he says to his mother not to worry that he makes all things new I was cut to the heart.  I realized in that moment the immense suffering that Jesus endured and with it the great hope that he had because of the coming resurrection.  I remember questioning how any man could physically make it through all that the Bible portrays and that Gibson’s film relays throughout the course of the passion.  One more step, one more breath, one more long tortuous moment that must be lived.  Only the hope for the world, the knowledge of the meaning of the sacrifice provided the reason to move forward through that terrible agony.  I cried because I was acutely aware that Jesus took these steps for me, for my sin.

My son’s tears were symptomatic of conviction.  The brief and simple retelling of the story of Jesus going to the cross from the words of a children’s Bible did not arouse a psychosomatic response of fear, pain, anger, or joy.  He was crying because his spirit glimpsed the meaning of the story.  I believe the picture in his mind and heart caused him to cry because the Holy Spirit impressed on him that Jesus had died for him, for his sins. 

We are told in Philippians chapter 2 that eventually, ultimately every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.  May the tears of conviction come before our knees are bowed on that great day.

Blessings to you ~ Steadman

 

When I was born in 1973, I was born a child of God’s Covenant. My mother and father brought me up in such a way that I knew the person of Jesus Christ just as I knew my neighbors and my teachers. We read the Scriptures, attended church during the week, prayed as a family, and sang the Lord’s praises throughout my youth. For many years I placed the moment of my assured salvation at a time when I prayed with our kindergarten PE instructor, Coach Young, to receive Jesus as my Savior. It was a simple prayer of a 4-year-old boy and I still remember it quite clearly. Today I see God’s sovereign hand at work not only in the prayer I prayed outside our Christian school gymnasium, but in every step that I have taken in life. The Holy Spirit was with me as I left my parents home and went out into the world. He guided me to new churches, to lost friends, to foreign countries, to the woman who would be my wife, and to my current work at the Center for Creative Leadership here in Greensboro, North Carolina. Jesus Christ is my resurrected savior, my closest friend, and my Lord. Our family life here in Greensboro is most clearly focused on our church, Covenant Fellowship, my work place, the Center for Creative Leadership, and my wife’s former work place, Caldwell Christian Academy. Our church provides us a safe haven for Christian fellowship, for worship, and for edification through the Word. We go out from our church as servants of God and all of our work is done for His glory. Neither my wife nor I have relatives in Greensboro. However, in our church we have been provided with brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, and I see that the bond of Christ can be stronger than even the greatest of family bonds. I believe in the sovereignty of God. I see in scripture that God is all knowing, that He is not bound by place or by time, and that He is all powerful. I believe that God, the Father Almighty, is creator of heaven and earth. The earth and everything in it was created from nothing and was created for God’s own glory. I believe in the Trinity – that is, believe in one God the Father, Jesus Christ His only son our Lord, and in the Holy Ghost, our counselor and comforter. I believe that Jesus Christ was conceived by the Holy Ghost and born of the Virgin Mary. Jesus was not born of the seed of Adam, through which sin has been passed since the fall of man. Jesus lived a sinless life and though tempted in every way as we are; He was able to offer His life up as the perfect sacrifice. I believe that Jesus was crucified, that He died and was buried, and that on the third day he was resurrected from the dead. Because of His sacrificial death and the truth of His resurrection we, who were separated from God because of our sin, can be forgiven by the blood of Christ which covers the sins of all those who place their life in Him. I believe that Christ will return as King to judge and to rule and I look forward to that great day and pray for the speed of His coming. Blessings to you ~ Steadman

My wife and I received a note from a family member the other night that foreshadowed one of the many challenges that lies ahead for us. We are still celebrating the birth of our third son and looking at another 13 years of parenting before our eldest son most likely leaves home for college and the working world beyond the shelter of our family wings. Our relatives on the other hand are experiencing the very real sense of loss that comes when our children grow up and move away. My cousin says, “We are on the other side of the fence than you and I had a moment of ‘sadness’ Sunday night as we were decorating our tree and getting ready for our Advent - realizing that not only were our oldest children not with us but that next year our youngest won't be either... But remembering that every year that shortens our lives on earth brings us closer to our eternal home and that we are doing with our children what the Lord has planned, makes it a little easier.” What a sweet thought. Alyssa and I talked about this and she had tears in her eyes thinking of how quickly our little ones will grow up. These will certainly be difficult times for us as a couple but I said to my dear wife, “You were my first love… and when they are gone from here… you will still be my first love.” As I reflect on our lives as Christians it is Jesus who is our ultimate first love… not because we loved Him but because He first loved us and laid down His life for us that we might have eternal life! When we are gone from this place we will, in a very real sense, have eternity to spend with our first love. Have a blessed day. ~ Steadman